Went to Costco. Now What?

I’m still recovering from my first trip to Costco. I needed a couple of Ibuprofen after carrying the crate of Ibuprofen to my truck, which, by the way, I needed to get my entire shipment home. However, that’s not what I’m recovering from. I just can’t get over the sensational impact of the size-itudinality and quanti-bogacity of that experience.

What if I had bumped into Pope Francis there shopping for the poor, pushing his own cart and not being hauled around in the decommissioned pope mobile? Damn right, I’d have given him a piece of my mind. “Che, pibe!” I’d have yelled at the Pontifical Porteño. “Go back and get that pope mobile, and load that sucker up!” But, who am I to judge?


Che! This Pope!

Say what you will about him, but this pope seems to be shaking things up. Seems like every time he opens his mouth, he symbolically knocks over another money-changer’s table in the temple!  He has a way with words.  In his first public address he caught everybody by surprise by deviating from the traditional script and speaking directly from the heart.  Soon after we learned, that, naturally, as a Porteño, i.e., someone from Buenos Aires, Argentina – and a Tano to boot, a Porteño of Italian descent – he even threw out a word in Lunfardo for Christ’s Sake, Porteño street slang! He said, “God nos primerea!” which draws on a fútbol reference to convey the notion that God firsts us, bests us, will always have a hail mary pass up his sleeve!  Che, and that was code for something bigger, something more generalizable!  You name it, think of anything, and all of us, everybody, todo el mundo, we are all tied for second place, at best!! What a refreshing solidarity. “Who am I to judge?”

Sources close to Pope Francis recently reported that one day he looked out of his simple apartment’s window overlooking St. Peter’s Square, saw the multitude gathered there against the backdrop of the world he has been asked to shepherd, and uttered another common Argentine expression in sotto voce:


Imagine the pope looking out his window and seeing all of us. For those who don’t already know what ¡Qué quilombo! means, check out Item #3 here. It’s no big, mysterious deal. It means something like, “What a mess!” Or my favorite translation is “What a shitstorm!”

Over time I’ll tell the story of how the pope used to be my boss…indirectly.