How’s my driving?

If you’re a truck driver, you may want to go to an archived post here in portfoliolongoland. Never mind, stay and make yourself at home. You must get this all the time from amateur car drivers like me who have the audacity to use your highways and are crazy enough to complain about your professional conduct at work. Now I’ve thought about calling the one-eight number, but frankly, I’m afraid the dispatcher would contact you and your buddies by Citizen Band radio and have me and my vehicle completely flattened.

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Ed Takes Action Regarding Target’s 5th Tip

Dear Target Guest,

In light of the recent intrusion into our information systems, we recommend the following tips to guard against possible scams in the future:

  1. Never share information with anyone over the phone, email or text, even if they claim to be someone you know or do business with. Instead, ask for a call-back number.
  2. Delete texts immediately from numbers or names you don’t recognize.
  3. Be wary of emails that ask for money or send you to suspicious websites.
  4. Don’t click links within emails you don’t recognize.
  5. If there is an unauthorized surveillance camera in your bathroom, paint over the lens to protect your privacy. (Note: Use the attached 10% discount coupon to purchase 1 can of black paint for this project. Offer expires April 23, 2014.)

Thank you for your patience and loyalty to Target.

G. Steinhafel

Chairman, President and CEO
PS On December 19, 2013 the retailer (Target) said that as many as 40 million credit card and debit card accounts may have been compromised during Black Friday weekend through December 15, and that information stolen included customer names, credit or debit card number, the card’s expiration date and CVV (card verification value). Now, in an update on the hacking investigation, Target said that an additional 70 million people were affected, and the stolen customer information includes names, mailing addresses, phone numbers and email addresses. Target said that much of this data is “partial in nature,” but it will nonetheless provide one year of free credit monitoring and identity theft protection to all guests who shopped at its U.S. stores.
Source:
https://www.forbes.com/sites/maggiemcgrath/2014/01/10/target-data-breach-spilled-info-on-as-many-as-70-million-customers/

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Big Move Anxiety

It’s not the 1,824 miles, the 28 + hour drive, the movers, all our stuff, getting the certified houseplants in, the change of address forms, the new time zone, the goodbyes, the new networks, etc.; it’s the thought of those LIGHT SWITCHES AND THEIR PLACEMENT that’s keeping me up.

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By the way, this photo-trickery was done in PowerPoint … as if that were related to another previous post.

Just Another Night … Take My Wife-Please

Why didn’t I think of this in the first place?
(Here’s what I mean by “the first place.” I did this same drawing in another post entitled Stand-Up Anthropology with a different twist and corresponding word bubble roughly related to the old comedic phrase, take my wife. As I was doing that post, it occurred to me that it might be even more anthropologically relevant and perhaps funnier, per se, for a female comedian to utter that old line in a regular comedy-club setting.)

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Stand-Up Anthropology

$20.00 says there’s a cultural alternative to “Take my wife – please.”

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What would Henny Youngman say?

Nobody Likes Change (or Complexity)

I once heard a change-management consultant tell a conference room full of hospital administrators, physicians, and staff … “the only person who likes change is a baby with a wet diaper.” (Hey, I subsequently dealt with this image, click here to see.) I was one of those administrators in that conference room in New Orleans about six months after Hurricane Katrina at a hospital whose survival depended upon a very deliberate and systematic organizational transformation; and yet the natural forces of resistance to change – among the victimized and exhausted few who were not temporarily or permanently displaced – were functional and ready for a good fight. It’s only natural. However, there was no alternative in this case. The organizational and structural changes simply had to take place and the resistance to change had to become collaboration in change; and this happened in large part due to an extraordinarily unique combination of chronic passion (joie de vivre) and acute Katrina fatigue in an extraordinarily unique context in an extraordinarily unique city.

However, when the need for change is perceived as optional and any sense of urgency is a matter of opinion, development efforts can drag on for years, resistance to change can become business as usual, and collaboration can be confined to ongoing turf battles. Even when complicated baseline findings of the communities’ perceived needs are available and displayed along side the communities’ complicated aspirations for all to compare, there can be voices crying out for simplicity and ease … but not for change.

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If I ever do this again, I’ll try to remember to start off with that catchy quote about the baby, the diapers, and change, which reminds me of a drawing/post I have up my sleeve about calzones and how I suspect that this term, which means pants, really comes from little, little pants…diapers?  The fullness of diapers?

Coming to a Doorway Near Me

If you’ve moved around, then you’ll probably agree with me that one of the more disorienting and challenging aspects about being new to a living environment is trying to become accustomed to where the light switches are and which lights they control. Maybe there are customs, suggested practices, heck, maybe there are codes, but for each there is an exception. As a result, the modern placement of light switches is most likely governed by Hermes himself.

The questions about light-switch placement at every doorway, every passageway include:
Is it on this side or that side?
Is on the right or left?
Is it grouped logically or illogically with other lights, exhaust fans, garbage disposals, etc?
Is it, in fact, a real light switch or is it a placebo switch that was installed by a previous occupant who majored in experimental psychology?
Are there more?

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Citizen-Passengers of the Exit Row

Prior to take off, the citizen-passengers of Flight #US 530 explored the notions of high-altitude community service and civic duty, examined the exit seat eligibility and performance criteria, and posed critical questions that could very well affect the destinies of all on board.

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Strategy Only, Please

All of the uncertainty out there seems to have underscored the importance of strategy above all in development initiatives.  (See also Nobody Likes Change or Complexity.)

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OK, mea culpa.